Signing Off From China

We had a group photo shoot today at the famous red couch in the White Swan hotel. It really seems to torment the children, but we sure do love those photos. Note the fear and loathing on the kids faces versus the blissful joy expressed by the photographers (see Eliza in the lower right corner). We finally got our first quality family photo too…ahhhhh, so sweet!!!

Finn started a new antibiotic today. He is still a little out of sorts but seems to be on the mend. Poor kid has been really sick. We were blessed by the presence of an Ear Nose and Throat doctor in our travel group. He took good care of Finn and we are incredibly grateful. Finn takes medicine like a super star. I actually have to re-direct him more than once a day because he stands over by the mini-bar/pharmacy (depending on your point of view) and begs for the medicine.

Many of you have discovered that your lovely comments have gone unposted. The reason is: thanks to China’s “filtering”, Kyle and I don’t have access to the blog web site. Our posts are possible because we have dear friends who dutifully post our text and photos for us. We will post all the comments once we get home. Speaking of home, we will be spending Saturday in transit. Tomorrow is packing and getting out of Guangzhou. This will be the last post from China, but we will continue to update the blog once we are home and settled.

Visa Packet Approval

We stayed in the room this morning waiting to hear from CCAI representatives. The representatives spent the morning at the US Consulate reviewing all the Visa petitions for the group. We were called at 10:50 that our application was approved. Tomorrow we go to the consulate to take an oath (we will love and cherish…not abandon Finn). Finn’s visa will arrive on Friday and we take off for Hong Kong Friday night. One night in Hong Kong and then the long ride home.

We scored a small bottle of whiskey and plan on having mixed drinks in the hall outside the room after the kids go to sleep. Our neighbors here at the White Swan (an adoptive family in our travel group) suggested a grown up time and given that there are no babysitters, we decided to prop the doors open and drink in the hall. We’re gonna have a party like it’s 1999 (and we have children and adult responsibilities…don’t you remember that verse?).

We made the squeaky shoe purchase today, so cute and reasonably priced. This time around we were able to purchase boys shoes too. Eliza had a great time trying on shoes too. She picked out a pair of green shoes, blue and red, and brown with pink polka dots. She is most pleased with the green ones.

Finnian is still sleeping like a champ but just can’t beat his cough. One of the folks in our travel group is an eye, ear, and throat doctor and recommended a different kind of antibiotic that will be easier on Finn’s tummy. We should have in hand able start treatment tomorrow morning. We suspect he has had this cough for some time. Even while fighting this crud (and he is not too hungry or sleepy), he maintains a great disposition.

Random Stuff

Finn’s bronchitis is getting better. The worst of the infection seems to have passed. He is still having periods of time when he only wants to be held, but there’s nothing wrong with that!!! His cough is still pretty bad, poor kid. He wakes himself up once or twice during the night. He still looks for one of his caregivers when we are out and about. He calls the caregiver YeYe (means grandpa in Mandarin). We think we have a picture of him…based on Finn’s preference for Chinese men with glasses. We haven’t shown the pictures to Finn yet.

We went swimming today at the hotel pool. Mostly we went sitting in the water. Finn was a little apprehensive, but I suspect he will not be next time. Eliza has been staying very close to Mama, but today in particular. She said to me “Mama, I want you to do everything for me today”. I am afraid it was a disappointing day for her.

During an afternoon play time, Eliza gave Finn a kiss. He smiled big and kissed her back. Have I mentioned Finnian’s current going to sleep pattern? He lies on Kyle’s chest for a couple of minutes, and, if not already sawing logs, lies on his back for a couple more minutes before being out cold. Kyle then gingerly plops him in his crib. It’s all too easy…probably a trick. We’ll see how it goes back home in Colorado.

Finn’s vocabulary list increased today with “up”, “uh-oh”, and “hello”. He is also loud and persuasive with “bu yao!” which means “I do not want that” in Mandarin. Glad we studied up on this phrase prior to departure. He is a great explorer. He and Mama went for a walk today and took turns alternating English and Mandarin words for “walk”, “hello”, “run” and “good-bye”. He would whisper each new word a few times before attempting it audibly. We ate dinner at a Thai restaurant tonight. It was yummy. Our dinner music was Don Williams…made me a little homesick.

Base Matters and Clean Fun

We took a long walk off the island and into Guangzhou proper today. It’s a mess. There is construction everywhere in preparation for the Asian Games that will be held here. The method of demolition seems to be a bunch of guys in shorts and hard hats pulling buildings apart brick by brick. Another group of guys in shorts and hardhats use wheel barrows to haul debris to a supposedly designated area. Turns out there are a lot of areas which equal piles of junk, trash, sheet rock, and bricks everywhere. Most of the buildings are faced with rusty scaffolding and green tarps. Nice.

Eliza will not use a squatty potty (used in Asian countries by both sexes and resembling a urinal that fell off the wall). She pronounces it very deliberately “Squat-tee Pot-tee”. She actually is appropriately repulsed by the filth surrounding them. The level of disgust surrounding public restrooms, and even private ones (outside of the hotels we have stayed in) is really astounding. Not sure how this country avoids e-coli breakouts (or any other oral-fecal disease). Excuse my soap box.

I (Jane) went to a pharmacy today to attempt to purchase infant Tylenol or Motrin and a medication to help Finn with the diarrhea caused by the antibiotic. So, there I am trying to explain to the lovely pharmacy technician that my son has liquid poo and all she can tell me is how beautiful my face and eyes are. So I figure, she clearly isn’t understanding me….therefore I include hand gestures and and more simple words to help describe poor Finn’s situation. The technician continued to extol the beautiful nature of my eyes and brought my eyes to the attention of the other pharmacy employees. Needless to say, I left without any medication, but feeling very good about myself. The coveted anti-diarrhea herb was finally acquired at the hotel doctor’s office.
Finn has started using the sign for “more” and occasionally saying the word. He is particularly fond of French fries and apparently will work for food. He puts his right thumb into the palm of his left hand and says “mo”. Very cute. He ate better today and takes his medicine like a champ. I have never seen anything like it. He stands still and drinks the strange concoctions recommended and rarely fusses. One potion is a combination of a liquid cough suppressant, liquid mucous thinner, and a powdered antibiotic. The other is this powder the consistency of talc that is mixed with water and looks like mud. It is to counteract the adverse downstairs effects of the antibiotic (and let me tell you….adverse!). Amazing but effective.

The kids took a bath together tonight. It was a sweet time! They had fun together and we thoroughly enjoyed their antics. Finn loves the water and shows no fear. Eliza is very reserved and follows all rules of bath time etiquette including not splashing. Finn is completely and blissfully unaware of those particular rules.

Sick Boy

Finn woke this morning with a high fever. We have been pumping him full of medication all day and it seems to be helping. He has a nasty cough, very runny nose, and all the meds are upsetting his little tummy. Eliza has a cough too. Adoption time is tough on their little bodies…emotional, stressful, exciting.

We stayed close to the hotel today. Did a little window shopping, and finally had our Starbucks coffee. We had hoped to go off Shamian Island and visit a recommended park, but Finn was just too sick. Maybe he will feel better tomorrow and we can get out a little more.

The heat is really something. We can only tolerate short bouts outdoors. It is absolutely stifling. The second the kids get outside their hair is wet with sweat. Finn’s little head glistens and Eliza’s head drips. Yesterday Eliza said “my head must be sad….it keeps crying. Mom, that’s a joke”.

At dinner tonight there was some interaction between the kids that did not include the words “don’t, stop, or NO!” They sat across the table from each other and made faces and silly sounds. They both giggled. Hooray! I know we should not encourage blowing raspberries at the dinner table, but positive interaction is worth it!

As I type this I am listening to the blessing of the going to sleep sounds of our children. I hear their whispering and breathing (coughing, hacking and sniffling). I am enjoying it very much! They are great kids. Finn is in his little crib settling in and fighting sleep. Eliza is in a rectangular nest of a bed on the floor sucking her finger…much like it will be at home (hopefully without the colds, and ear infection). Finn just announced his fading into sleep with quite “bye-bye”. Two minutes later he is out.

Kyle: During naptime today I went for a walk around the neighborhood near our hotel and there were sites’a’plenty. Just outside the hotel was a determined exercising lady with perfect balance. Next door was a very pragmatic liquor/doll store. Then I wandered through a pedestrian only neighborhood of ancient looking 4-story walk-ups. Most entry doors are gated with bamboo and have little red incense burners nearby. One place had a small dog in a cage not much larger than himself. Like Eliza, the dog did not like to be photographed by strangers…I passed by quickly. In front of one place were a bunch of river oysters set out to dry. What a fun place to visit.

Happy birthday, Mom. Love you.

Guangzhou

We spent our last day in Zhengzhou packing. We went to a restaurant inside the hotel for lunch and found there were no tables available. As we stood in front of the restaurant deliberating on what to do next, a Chinese woman approached us and cooed at the kids—thankfully, not a rare event. (We clumsy Americans in China suffer from low self esteem. Language and culture barriers make us feel inadequate and our defense is turn inward; we are the vast minority in this country of 1.3 billion. This low view drives us to McDonalds, Wal-Mart, and Pizza Hut at an unusually high frequency. Chinese passersbys who fawn over our children are just the right antidote…lends strength for the trials of parenthood.) The women spoke to the hostess of the restaurant who translated for us…”Ms. Du has some American friends who have adopted children and she would like to invite you and your children to join her family for lunch”. We agreed, and luckily another patron of the restaurant spoke very good English and spent his lunch hour visiting with us and translating. Here’s what we learned: Ms. Du helped open a hospital in Zhengzhou for special needs children and orphans. She wanted to express her gratitude to us for adopting Chinese children. The economy has made the past year difficult at the hospital and she has lost financial support and supplies, but she is determined to continue her efforts. We shared our life experiences, a lovely meal, and tears of joy and understanding. It was amazing and very touching.

We arrived at the White Swan hotel in Guangzhou around midnight with two sleeping kids and no luggage (the luggage truck was stuck in a traffic jam). We called housekeeping for a toddler mattress and ended up getting two towels. After more deliberate communication Eliza’s mattress was delivered and we could at least lie down (cheers for the tip, Nicole). About an hour or so later the luggage arrived. Kids were awake at 7:30 this morning…Kyle and I laid in bed and directed traffic from there.


After breakfast we walked to a little store for Visa photos and then to the adoption medical clinic for Finn’s physical. He is such a good kid. He really did well with all the poking and prodding. He was a bit confused on what to do with the tongue depressor, though Eliza and a bystander did their best to show by example. Turns out FInnian has a pretty good fever. There was some debate at the adoption medical clinic as to whether he needed antibiotics or not. The final verdict was no antibiotics, just Tylenol and Ibuprofen. A few hours later he was still feeling puny. We took him to the doctor here at the White Swan and he was diagnosed with bronchitis and a left ear infection. All I can say is…if he is this active with an ear infection and bronchitis…wow, watch out! So the doctor visit, four days of antibiotic, cough suppressant, mucous thinner, and baby aspirin cost us a whopping $40.00. China heath care A-OK.

The next two days are for exploring and we intend to take advantage of our time and maybe get some relief from the Summer heat at the swimming pool.

Tired = Wired

Like Eliza, Finn gets wired when he is fatigued. The two together are crazy. Bedtime tonight was a circus. Finn was running around touching everything, turning on the TV and maxing out the volume with the remote, and answering the not ringing phone while Eliza got louder and more demanding of attention from Mama while trying in vain to police her rogue brother. Ugh!

Finn seems to be beginning to realize that he is not returning to his former life. He has been having a more difficult time falling asleep and crying a little louder and longer around nap and bed time. It sounds like a cry of despair. He allows us to comfort him and does not resist. Still, it is difficult to observe, and heartbreaking to hear. He winds down and disconnects by playing and staying busy. This morning Mama caught him within an inch of banging his head on the bottom of the bathtub…he leaned into the tub quickly and took a dive! You gotta have your head on a swivel to keep up with this kid.

We visited the Henan Provincial museum today. It is a lovely building and interesting place to explore. Eliza enjoyed the jadeware and the observatory room. Finn pretty much ran from one end to the other for two hours.

As wonderful as it is here, we are beginning to get travel fatigue. We long to eat at our own table and sleep in our own beds. We are not looking forward to the long flight home with our Energizer Bunny, but the home part is sounding pretty great.

Tomorrow we fly to Guangzhou for the final leg of our trip. We will be there one week. Our U.S. Consulate appointment is on July 28th. We are looking forward to the Starbucks in Guangzhou! We love mainland China, but oh we miss our coffee!

Thousand year old eggs, anyone? Believe it or not, we have leftovers. I understand they travel pretty well.

Daddy’s Boy

On adoption day Finn was able to tolerate both myself and Kyle. The last two days he has definitely showed a preference for Kyle. He will barely allow me to hold him, and when “Baba” leaves the room he cries until Kyle returns. Sound familiar? Some of you know that Eliza was that way with me. Kyle is enjoying the benefits of being the life-line. Finn is very affectionate and cuddly. He rests his head on us, gives kisses (even to me), and lets us comfort him when he is sad or scared.


He is such fun. He learned a new word from his sister…”no”. He uses it appropriately and is very convincing. He found his voice today and shared lots of babble with us. His favorite word to say is “baba” (mandarin for daddy). He says “more, mama, jie jie (sister), bye-bye”…crazy cute. He is able to take his shirt and shoes off. I handed him a tooth brush and he knew exactly what to do. He colored with markers today…until he tasted the pink one.

Eliza is not used to the energy Finn adds to the family mix. He is much more active and curious than she is…more assertive too. Many times today she requested that I not look at Finn, and give all my attention to her. Hmmmm? I suspect the real adjustment will be when we get home and Finn touches everything. He is already demonstrating an ability to open drawers, doors, markers (yikes)…he knows no boundaries. The good news is he has been trained to clean up after himself and he does.

Eliza is really doing well. She has been trying to hug Finn and play the way she knows how to play. She’ll figure it out. Her feelings are a little tender, but generally she has seemed to enjoy this.

We made a quick visit to Finnian’s orphanage today. We were not allowed to go in and only stood outside to take pictures for a few minutes. It is a new building and has only been open for about a month. He did not seem to recognize the place. Interesting since he already knows where our hotel room is and points at the door when we arrive. He also did not pay attention to the nanny lady who took us to the orphanage, despite her efforts. She told us (with other families present) that Pu Qing had been a favorite of his care-givers. No wonder to us.

Adoption Official

This morning we revisited the same official government office from the day before to make our adoptions official.  Again all the families waited for about an hour in the heat until at long last a rather casual official gave a short speech and handed us a nicely bound certificate with mini family photo.  Then back to the hotel for a day of play.

Finnian is showing off his curious and mischievous side.  While Eliza was relaxing with a bit of Barney and Jane was off to the local Walmart, Finn, unzipped the CD case and proceeded to empty its contents.  He enjoys handing Jane and I the hotel phone receiver, especially since it has an extra long chord, and he can get it to us no matter where we are in the room.  He is an intrepid climber:  stairs, bed, chairs, window sills, etc.  We are enjoying getting to know him.

 

Rewind:  visited the Great Wall of China a few days ago.  The ever present crowds, heat, and humidity made the steep climb difficult.  I witnessed several casualties along the way.  However, Eliza had been training back in Colorado, and she enthusiastically made amazing headway up the steep, uneven, and virtually never ending steps.  Also memorable were the Middle Eastern tourists making the climb in head to toe black garments (in July).  We were also awed at the many Chinese women, both younger and middle aged, who opted to make the ascent in bare feet because the nice dress shoes they had brought along couldn’t really do the job.

The Deuce!

At this hour, Finnian Pu Qing Schurter is sleeping beautifully in the crib next to our hotel bed. It is now the end of a long, wonderful, mournful, emotional, and blessed day. The important stuff began around 9:45 this morning when fourteen families hopped on two busses and headed to the Henan provincial registration office. Standing water on the roads made all the kid-carrying busses late. We waited about an hour and the crowd of expecting families began to stir. Our CCAI representative announced that the babies from Jiaozuo had arrived. We are one of the three families with children who were cared for in a smallish group home in that city about an hour and half outside Zhengzhou. We got buckets of rain last night.

Finnian was one of the first kids though the door—instantly recognizable from the photos we had received months ago. He looked healthy, alert, and very scared. First few minutes are a blur in my memory. We just spent the time holding him, giving him pats, and soaking in his presence. The next bus of children arrived and the action started to pick up. There were now about 50 people in a medium sized room with wall to wall tile…very noisy and disorienting. Crying went viral and Finn caught the bug. We moved our party out to the front steps of the building and he immediately calmed. There we found one of the nannies who had cared for Finnian the past year and a half. With the help of Isha, our guide and interpreter, Jane thanked her for loving and caring for Pu Qing. She (and we) was teary as she said “bye-bye” to Finn. To our astonishment, he verbalized a bye-bye as well and they exchanged kisses on the cheeks. Our son suffered yet another great loss in his life today.

Finn is smart, active, curious and very fun little boy. He is a expert toddler. With a single finger assist, he can climb up and down tall government building steps. When we got back to the hotel room, he was exploring everywhere at once: new toys on the floor, opening the toilet lid, punching buttons on the computer, and climbing up on the bed. We had sent our family photos to the orphanage some months ago. When we showed him the same photos today, He pointed to photos of Eliza and said the word for big sister in Mandarin. Jane learned the Mandarin word for kiss and we’ve found that he knows it too. He’s giving sugar all around. He has a fantastic laugh and a heart-rending cry. We’ve hear both several times.

Eliza is being a very good big sister. Her past months’ expressions of rejecting Finn have now mostly given way to excitement, being protective (and a bit of a tattle-tale), and cooperative. We are so very excited and thankful for our newly expanded family.